General Info Taken From http://www.lizardmaster.com/displayone.cfm?docID=2875

May 14, 2007 , The 2008 United States Presidential Election Breakdown Part III: Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey...

Jonathon "The Impaler" Sharkey was born in the same town some of my family is from in Elizabeth New Jersey.  I hope that's good enough to keep me on the good side of this Presidential Hopeful.  Jonathon is a a self-proclaimed satanist, "sanguinary vampyre", and Hecate Witch.  He wants to bring the troops home from Iraq, supports Universal Prescription Drug coverage, the "Robin Hood Act", and the ever gaining steam the "No More Indian Compensation Act."  He's running under the VWP Party and can be reached at his website: www.theimpalerforpresident2008.us.

"The Impaler" was nice enough to answer some questions for his upcoming Presidential Bid.  Here are the questions and answers unedited as promised during the interview process:
   
In 2005 you started the Vampires, Witches, and Pagans Party which is officially recognized by the United States Federal election Committee.  The sources I've found have you listed as an independent.  Do you plan to run under Vampires, Witches, and Pagans Party or as an independent?
  
I will run under The VWP party. It takes time to have a Party recognized by the Federal Election Commission like the Reform Party, The Green Party etc... However, these parties are still considered Independent parties.

The centerpiece for your campaign appears to be your disdain for intolerance.  While you have your own beliefs and according to wikipedia "profess hatred for the Christian Supreme Being, God the Father," you fully support everyone's right to their own beliefs.  How will you ensure this in an increasingly intolerable atmosphere in America?

One of my Impalebale offense is religious discrimination. If Americans choose to attack the religious beliefs of another, they will face me. this country was founded on religious freedom.
  
You have introduced an elite counter-terrorist, anti-crime group called "Jonathon's Presidential Death Dealers."  How do you intend to finance this group?  Are we to expect an increase in taxes if you are elected?

Since I will not have Secret Service protection, the money allocated for them to protect me and my family, will go to my Death Dealers that are protecting me. There will be no tax increases whatsoever while I'm President.

You have proposed building to walls similar to the Great Wall of China on our north and south borders.  What are your plans for maintaining these walls?  Will there still be a legal and friendly way to immigrate to this country?
   
Military personnel will patrol the walls. This country is the 'melting pot' of the world, and while I'm President, it will stay that way. I refuse to allow illegals to come in to America, and take American jobs, from hard working Americans.
  
You have stated that on your first day as president you will Impale 20 people, while only listing 10.  The rest to be announced later in 2007.  Any chance we can get a preview or a date for release on the rest?
   
Here's my top 10 personal people I will Impale upon becoming President;
  
  1) James Moneypenny - he is now my former father-in-law who was convicted of scamming over $70,000 from an elderly couple. See: http://www.ohioinsurance.gov/Newsroom/scripts/Release.asp?ReleaseID=3883 I will not tolerate anyone taking advantage of the elderly.
  
  2) Marion County (IN) Judge Gary L. Miller - he wrongly incarcerated me for 150 days, for trying to stop my former fiancee from killing herself with drugs, alcohol and DWI/DUI.
  
  3) Peggy Holtsclaw - my ex-fiancees mother who could careless about her daughter killing herself slowly, and endangering innocent people.
  
  4) Judge Shelia Carlisle - is another Marion County Judge who overstepped her authority involving my federal court matter trying to save Susan.
  
  5)  Judge Cale Bradford - The Marion County Judge who ordered divorcing parents not to teach their children about Wicca.
  
  6) Commission Amy Barns - is Bradford's Commissioner who hates witches as well.
  
  7)  Speedway Police Detective Dale Horstman - who protects Susan from getting caught while DWI/DUI and who had me wrongly arrested in 2003.
  
  8)  Ronald W. Oakes - who was Susan's attorney, and all got her convicted of a federal crime, because he took advantage of her.
  
  9)  Lourdes Flash - my ex-wife who has screwed up my two children from her lives.
  
  10)  Barbara Malone - another one of Susan's attorneys that was a screw up. Because of her incompetence, she caused Susan to be sanction by Federal Judge Sarah Evans Barker.
  
  That is my personal top 10.
  
  Thank you for your questions. Feel free to ask me more.
  
  Nel Sangue,
  
  Jonathon "The Impaler"

Thank you for taking the time Mr. Sharkey.