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Which Pitchman Are You? By Offers.com
Take this fun quiz and learn which As Seen on TV Pitchman you are! Sponsored by Offers.com.
What’s your idea of a perfect Saturday night?
Sweating it out on the dance floor.
Working on my reality TV show.
Cruising downtown with a girl I just met.
Decapitating grizzly bears with my bare hands.
Watching myself on TV on at least 3 channels after midnight.
Favorite vacation spot?
The boardwalk in Atlantic City.
Miami Beach with the ladies.
Anywhere I can use my Pocket Fisherman.
Antarctica, then swimming back to the mainland.
The gym.
What can’t you leave home without?
My fists of rage.
My trusty headset.
My candy-striped shorts decorated with Swarovski crystals.
My magnificent beard!
My smokeless ashtray, Hair in a Can spray, and my Mr. Microphone.
What’s your greatest fear?
Meeting myself in a dark alley.
Stains.
Fire extinguishers and flab.
Having my tongue bitten completely off.
A world without chicken flavor injectors.
If they made a movie of your life, who would play you?
Mario Cantone from “Sex in the City”
Daniel Baldwin
Emilio Estevez
I’m a method actor – I’d play myself
Brad Pitt (if Brad Pitt looked more like Watergate reporter Bob Woodward)
What do you look for in a mate?
I’m a lone wolf.
Someone who’s handy in the kitchen.
Clean clothing.
A pulse.
Someone who loves to DANCE!
If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
Unleashing sonic booms with my vocal chords.
The power to turn anything into a double entendre.
Shooting rainbow beams from my pores.
Invisibility, flight, super strength… but wait, THERE’S MORE!
I am my own super power.
You have a reoccurring dream that:
I’m a famous actor and producer, and no one yells infomercial catchphrases at me in the street.
I can only speak very quietly.
I see nothing but visions of chickens on rotisserie spits rotating and rotating and rotating...
I’m being laughed at by a studio audience and a man with a gap in his teeth is egging them on.
I don’t sleep. Sleep is for the weak.