This is a story about how my life got ruined by Chuck Norris. He roundhouse kicked me into his computer. It then exploded and turned into a pitbull, which bit the nose off my face. I completely freaked the hell out, and it threw him at Chuck Norris, becoming thoroughly potted into the ground. Chuck Norris then smashed my face with a hammer. I cried tears, further angering Chuck Norris, who then smashed my face into many pieces. So I attempted to escape, but he threw scalding cattle branding irons at my face. In agony, I