|
137
No worries: Submitting to Status King does not change your Facebook status.
|
Top 25 Status Updates of All Time - sarcastic
adult language filter view tags | Tag: sarcastic [X] Note: status updates containing adult language (a) are not eligible for crown.
View All Tags Top Tags close [x]
alcohol awesome best bored clever cool crazy facebook food friends fun funny god good haha happy hilarious humor humour ironic irony joke king laugh life lol love money music new obama people pun puns quote random sarcasm sarcastic sean sex silly smart status status king stupid true upside down witty women work
Supported Languages close [x]
These are languages for which we are currently accepting status update submissions. Click on a language to view status updates in that language. Click here to request a new language.
| 1 |  |
| 41 | |
|
Paul
wants to die peacefully in his sleep like his graddad did...not screaming with terror like the passengers in his car.
Feb 8, 2009
-
Comment
· Make this my status
·
REPORT
· Share
| 2 | |
| 29 | |
|
Elisa
isn't flirting with you, she just feels bad that nobody else seems to want to talk to you.
Sep 24, 2009
-
Comment
· Make this my status
·
REPORT
· Share
Like it? Comment
| 3 | |
| 23 | |
|
Monica
bought a box of Kashi cereal last week and is now convinced that Kashi means "fart" in Japanese.
Jul 9, 2009
-
Comment
· Make this my status
·
REPORT
· Share
Like it? Comment
| |
| * | |
|
Joshua
is wondering how it can be 42 below zero in North Dakota and 69 here. Is God punishing someone in North Dakota? Must they all pay for it?
Feb 22, 2009
-
Comment
· Make this my status
·
REPORT
· Share
| 4 | |
| 21 | |
|
Luis
has the body of a God, unfortunately its Buddha
Sep 14, 2009
-
Comment
· Make this my status
·
REPORT
· Share
Like it? Comment
| 5 | |
| 20 | |
|
Danielle
enjoys long walks, especially when theyre taken by people who annoy me.
Aug 10, 2009
-
Comment
· Make this my status
·
REPORT
· Share
Like it? Comment
| 6 | |
| 19 | |
|
Name
loves small defenseless animals, especially in good gravy....
Apr 6, 2009
-
Comment
· Make this my status
·
REPORT
· Share
Like it? Comment
| 7 | |
| 18 | |
|
RJ says
U a Virgin! Ha! The only thing that may be a virgin is your nose.. but now I think about it, I'm sure thats even been fingered a few times!
Sep 22, 2009
-
Comment
· Make this my status
·
REPORT
· Share
Like it? Comment
| 8 | |
| 17 | |
|
Jacqueline
will not let people drive me crazy because I know it's in walking distance.
Sep 18, 2009
-
Comment
· Make this my status
·
REPORT
· Share
Like it? Comment
| 9 | |
| 16 | |
|
Shannon
is waiting for her sarcastic personality to load! llllllllllllllllllllllllllllll 99%
Jul 13, 2009
-
Comment
· Make this my status
·
REPORT
· Share
Like it? Comment
| 10 | |
| 15 | |
|
Kali
might be fat, but you're ugly and I can diet...
Mar 1, 2009
-
Comment
· Make this my status
·
REPORT
· Share
Like it? Comment
| 11 | |
| 15 | |
|
Meg
figures a clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Mar 8, 2009
-
Comment
· Make this my status
·
REPORT
· Share
Like it? Comment
| 12 | |
| 14 | |
|
Lori
was tired of Humpty Dumpty sitting up on that wall and acting like he was better than the rest of us - so I pushed him off.
Nov 13, 2009
-
Comment
· Make this my status
·
REPORT
· Share
Like it? Comment
| 13 | |
| 10 | |
|
Sophie
is asking: '' You know why hobbits don't need to wear shoes? - Because hobbits are imaginary ''
Aug 24, 2009
-
Comment
· Make this my status
·
REPORT
· Share
Like it? Comment
| 14 | |
| 8 | |
|
Rohan
dont you think its real cruel of people who design 1)solar powered torch 2)pedalled wheel chair 3)waterproof towel 4)book with the name "how
Dec 4, 2009
-
Comment
· Make this my status
·
REPORT
· Share
Like it? Comment
| 15 | |
| 8 | |
|
Dana
is temporarily unavailable due to technical difficulties! She promises to have this problem fixed as soon as possible.
Nov 23, 2009
-
Comment
· Make this my status
·
REPORT
· Share
Like it? Comment
| 16 | |
| 8 | |
|
Cibi
Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
Jul 21, 2009
-
Comment
· Make this my status
·
REPORT
· Share
Like it? Comment
| 17 | |
| 8 | |
|
Gideon
invites all fellow slackers to unite!.... Tomorrow.
Apr 8, 2009
-
Comment
· Make this my status
·
REPORT
· Share
Like it? Comment
| 18 | |
| 8 | |
|
Jessica
responds well to pickup lines,Man: "I know how to please a woman." Jessica: "Then please leave me alone."
Oct 28, 2009
-
Comment
· Make this my status
·
REPORT
· Share
Like it? Comment
| 19 | |
| 6 | |
|
Raheel
¡¡¡ǝɟıl ɐ ʇǝƃ oʇ pǝǝu ʎlsnoıɹǝs noʎ uǝɥʇ 'sıɥʇ pɐǝɹ oʇ ƃuıʎɹʇ ǝɹɐ puɐ sıɥʇ pɐǝɹ uɐɔ noʎ ɟı
Nov 10, 2009
-
Comment
· Make this my status
·
REPORT
· Share
Like it? Comment
| 20 | |
| 6 | |
|
Harald
is wondering, how the people feel, who nail Jesus to this small little crosses, which are hanging in almost every home ...
Jul 15, 2009
-
Comment
· Make this my status
·
REPORT
· Share
Like it? Comment
Like it? Comment
| 22 | |
| 5 | |
|
Andrea
wants u to remember that when ur heart is broken into a million pieces and scattered all over the floor...i dont vacume!
Aug 16, 2009
-
Comment
· Make this my status
·
REPORT
· Share
Like it? Comment
| 23 | |
| 5 | |
|
Matthew
If guns kill people, do pencils misspell words? Cars make people drive drunk? Spoons make Rosie O' Donnel fat? Matches burn down houses?
Aug 26, 2009
-
1 Comments
· Make this my status
·
REPORT
· Share
Like it? Comment
| 24 | |
| 5 | |
|
Sushant
is showing his colleagues your profile and they’re all laughing at your picture!
Feb 20, 2009
-
Comment
· Make this my status
·
REPORT
· Share
Like it? Comment
| 25 | |
| 5 | |
|
Poppy
says she will come quietly if the men with the big net bring the PINK van
Apr 12, 2009
-
Comment
· Make this my status
·
REPORT
· Share
Like it? Comment
How the game works [x]
Contest
Every Tuesday a new Status King is crowned. It's similar to the game King of the Hill but for your Facebook status. If you get crowned as Status King we will send you a FREE T-shirt with your winning status on it.
Rules
- 1 vote per status per 24 hrs.
- 3 submissions per day.
- 1 vote = 1 point
= 2 points
- "Make this my status" = 5 points
- Buy a T-Shirt = 25 points
What happens when a new contest starts?
When a new contest begins, the Status King is inducted into the King's Archive for the preservation and glorious display of their winning status. For everyone else, all of the ranks (positions on the page) are retained for the next contest, but the vote counts are reset to zero, and the battle begins for a new Status King! May the funny and clever status updates rise to the top!
Status King Game winners are treated like royalty! [x]
Each Tuesday night, the original Status King Game completes and the winners are recognized. Now they get goodies too from the Status King Store.
Prizes will be awarded as follows:
#1 The Status King can now choose between the original custom Status King shirt featuring the winning status OR 2 free shirts (shipping included) from the Status King Store. Also receives recognition in the King’s Archive.
#2 Second place receives 50% off a single purchase in the Status King Store. Also receives recognition in the King’s Archive.
#3 Third place receives 30% off a single purchase in the Status King Store. Also receives recognition in the King’s Archive.
#4-#10 receive 20% off a single purchase in the Status King Store.
#11-#25 receive 10% off a single purchase in the Status King Store.
Facebook does not permit us to communicate winnings through their platform. Thus, if you finish in the top 25 in a game (when the finishes each Tuesday night, please email your name and a link to your winning status to winner@statusking.net, and we will email you the Status King Store code necessary to claim your discount.
Like it? Comment