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Top 25 Status Updates of All Time - humor
adult language filter view tags | Tag: humor [X] Note: status updates containing adult language (a) are not eligible for crown.
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alcohol awesome best bored clever cool crazy death facebook food friends fun funny god good haha happy hilarious humor humour ironic irony joke king life lol love money music new obama people pun puns quote random sarcasm sarcastic sean sex silly smart status status king stupid true upside down witty women work
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Kristin
My alarm clock & I had a fight. It wanted me to get up, I refused. Things escalated. Now I'm awake & it’s broken. Not sure who won the fight
Sep 30, 2009
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Arnie
says practice safe lunch. Use a condiment!
Sep 22, 2009
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Karan
FAKE FRIEND:Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.REAL FRIEND:Would sit next to you saying 'we screwed up,but it was fun.
Aug 6, 2009
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| 4 | |
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James
thinks one good thing about Alzheimer's is that you can hide your own Easter eggs!
Mar 30, 2009
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Jonathan
I can be lazy if I want! It's my Obama given right!
Aug 26, 2009
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Carol
My goal was to be a totally lazy slug today. So far, I'm totally meeting that goal and surpassing my expectations:-)
May 23, 2009
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Craig
life is like mario bro's, ya have to slay a lot of dragons before ya meet ya princess
May 19, 2009
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Kristin
is so bored shes considering going to the gym, dressed as a candy bar & standing in front of a overweight guy & waving while eating skittles
Sep 24, 2009
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Kristin
HaHa, the other day I ... um, no wait... that wasn't me......
Oct 14, 2009
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Kristin
little known fact: quitting any bad habit leads to alcoholism and extreme cynicism, and not necessarily in that order...
Oct 14, 2009
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Dawn
loves you. No, not THAT way. Except YOU. YOU, I love THAT way and more. The rest of you, regular love.
Jun 12, 2009
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Daniel
has decided that he only wants to have three kids because he read somewhere that one out of every four kids is Chinese...
Jul 19, 2009
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Luis
Interrupts yours status just to let you know that I have one of the best staus of all time --KANYE--
Sep 16, 2009
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Kristin
is bored, so is considering dressing as the grim reaper & tapping on the windows of the retirement home & waving to the residents for fun
Sep 19, 2009
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Darnell
is Hey baby, wanna come over to myspace and twitter my yahoo 'till I google all over your facebook?
Jul 30, 2009
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Kristin
says an American is a person who isn't afraid to criticize the president but is always polite to traffic cops.
Oct 14, 2009
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Kristin
says I couldn't ask for better friends. I could ask for normal friends, but where's the fun in that?!
Oct 27, 2009
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Larry
just discovered the best pick up line to use on girls! "Excuse me, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"
Jul 21, 2009
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Lukas
you r a good friend..u cry, i cry. u laugh, i laugh. u jump out the window...i look down..and laugh again!:-)
Jul 11, 2009
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Tina
just saved a bunch of money on her car insurance by forgetting to send in the payment
Sep 2, 2009
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| 21 | |
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Daniel
tried it at home despite being told not to...
Jul 15, 2009
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| 22 | |
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Tina
is using her tetris skills to organize her tupperware
Sep 2, 2009
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Bob
4 out of 5 dentists recommend this status update.
Nov 10, 2009
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Luis
has the body of a God, unfortunately its Buddha
Sep 14, 2009
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Alexan
is wondering what flavor milkshake brings all the boys to the yard..?
Aug 8, 2009
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= 2 points
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