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Top 25 Status Updates of All Time - hilarious
adult language filter view tags | Tag: hilarious [X] Note: status updates containing adult language (a) are not eligible for crown.
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awesome best bored clever cool crazy death facebook food friends fun funny god good haha happy hilarious humor humour ironic irony joke king laugh life lol love money music new obama people pun puns quote random sarcasm sarcastic sean sex silly smart status status king stupid true upside down witty women work
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Richard Storry
ʎɐqǝ uo pɹɐoqʎǝʞ ɐ ʎnq ı ǝɯıʇ ʇsɐן ǝɥʇ sı sıɥʇ
Feb 23, 2009
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11 Comments
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| 2 | |
| 612 | |
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Kristian
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Aug 27, 2009
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6 Comments
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| 3 | |
| 454 | |
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Nathan
”The greatest thing about Facebook, is that you can quote something and totally make up the source.” – George Washington
Sep 3, 2009
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Megan
the world without Michael Jackson: now 12% less weird.
Jul 12, 2009
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| 4 | |
| 376 | |
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Hafs
I must be wishing on someone else's star because it seems someone else is always getting what I wished for.
Oct 14, 2009
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3 Comments
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| 5 | |
| 372 | |
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Craige
is wondering where noah kept woodpeckers on his ark
Jan 27, 2009
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8 Comments
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| 6 | |
| 341 | |
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Erik
: Build a man a fire and he is warm for a day. Set him on fire, and he is warm for the rest of his life.
Jun 29, 2009
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4 Comments
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| 7 | |
| 228 | |
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Terrianna lovato
Press Ctrl+W to see something amazing...
Dec 1, 2009
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| 8 | |
| 210 | |
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Name
ⓜⓨ ⓟⓞⓢⓣⓢ ©ⓐⓝ ⓣⓨⓟⓔ ©ⓘⓡ©ⓛⓔⓢ ⓐⓡⓞⓤⓝⓓ ⓨⓞⓤⓡⓢ
Oct 9, 2009
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| 9 | |
| 203 | |
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Stan
wonders who decided that paper beats rock? Have someone hold up a sheet of paper in front of their face, then throw a rock at it. Who wins?
Oct 7, 2009
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| 10 | |
| 123 | |
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Kristian
I decided to cancel my Twitter account.I don't want to sound paranoid, but I'm pretty sure people are following me.
Sep 15, 2009
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| 11 | |
| 118 | |
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Tiffany
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Aug 20, 2009
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| 12 | |
| 96 | |
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Craig
life is like mario bro's, ya have to slay a lot of dragons before ya meet ya princess
May 19, 2009
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| 13 | |
| 81 | |
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Kristin
Says when a man brings his wife flowers for no reason… there's a reason!
Feb 11, 2009
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| 14 | |
| 72 | |
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Daniel
would kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Apr 9, 2009
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| 15 | |
| 61 | |
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UltraNaples
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
Sep 20, 2009
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| 16 | |
| 59 | |
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Elijah Kealoha
Relationship's are like fart's...If you push too hard, things could get messy.
Nov 12, 2009
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| 17 | |
| 53 | |
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Tiffany
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
Sep 20, 2009
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| 18 | |
| 47 | |
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UltraNaples
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
Sep 20, 2009
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| 20 | |
| 44 | |
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Kristian
says never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Sep 18, 2009
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| 21 | |
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Kristian
Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Sep 18, 2009
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Luis
Interrupts yours status just to let you know that I have one of the best staus of all time --KANYE--
Sep 16, 2009
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| 23 | |
| 39 | |
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Teodor
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
Sep 20, 2009
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Elizabeth
is has ordered a home delivery from KFC and Denny's simultaneously, so she can see which comes first, the chicken or the eggs.....:)
Nov 26, 2009
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| 25 | |
| 36 | |
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Kristian
Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
Sep 20, 2009
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How the game works [x]
Contest
Every Tuesday a new Status King is crowned. It's similar to the game King of the Hill but for your Facebook status. If you get crowned as Status King we will send you a FREE T-shirt with your winning status on it.
Rules
- 1 vote per status per 24 hrs.
- 3 submissions per day.
- 1 vote = 1 point
= 2 points
- "Make this my status" = 5 points
- Buy a T-Shirt = 25 points
What happens when a new contest starts?
When a new contest begins, the Status King is inducted into the King's Archive for the preservation and glorious display of their winning status. For everyone else, all of the ranks (positions on the page) are retained for the next contest, but the vote counts are reset to zero, and the battle begins for a new Status King! May the funny and clever status updates rise to the top!
Status King Game winners are treated like royalty! [x]
Each Tuesday night, the original Status King Game completes and the winners are recognized. Now they get goodies too from the Status King Store.
Prizes will be awarded as follows:
#1 The Status King can now choose between the original custom Status King shirt featuring the winning status OR 2 free shirts (shipping included) from the Status King Store. Also receives recognition in the King’s Archive.
#2 Second place receives 50% off a single purchase in the Status King Store. Also receives recognition in the King’s Archive.
#3 Third place receives 30% off a single purchase in the Status King Store. Also receives recognition in the King’s Archive.
#4-#10 receive 20% off a single purchase in the Status King Store.
#11-#25 receive 10% off a single purchase in the Status King Store.
Facebook does not permit us to communicate winnings through their platform. Thus, if you finish in the top 25 in a game (when the finishes each Tuesday night, please email your name and a link to your winning status to winner@statusking.net, and we will email you the Status King Store code necessary to claim your discount.
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