Agoraphobic Nosebleed

By Kevin Stewart-Panko

Agoraphobic Nosebleed has just released their crowning achievement, the stunningly song-oriented ginormous...

By Kevin Stewart-Panko

Agoraphobic Nosebleed has just released their crowning achievement, the stunningly song-oriented ginormous musical fuck-stick that is Agorapocalypse and as the press cycle dictates, it's time for them to do interviews promoting said record. We could ask about their packaging the CD in old-school longboxes, what took so fucking long and how a band that doesn't have a drummer managed to place a drum solo in "Question of Integrity." We could also ask about Jay Randall and Katherine Katz's lyrical ire. Maybe we'd get normal answers, maybe we wouldn't, but this is the same band that gave the world Frozen Corpse Stuffed With Dope and has songs about being "Nose deep in Jamaican armpit pussy" and "Prepubescent boys with handsome white asses." Things don't exactly fall into line ‘round these parts. While everyone else worried and wondered about all that other shit, Hellbound.ca decided conventionally interviewing a gang of misanthropic jokers like ANbB was probably going to get us nowhere. So, we cornered all four members and subjected them to time honored party game and one of the last surviving bastions of Freudian psychology: word association. You know the drill, see a word, say the first thing that comes to mind. Analyze their answers at your own discretion.

Religion

Jay Randall: Pat Robertson's head on a plate

Richard Johnson: ...is a fraud

Katherine Katz: Cultists

Scott Hull: McDonald's

Feminism

JR: A vag with a flag sticking out of it

RJ: Strength

KK: Equality

SH: Girls gone wild

Agorapocalypse

JR: Equals tons of weird interviews

RJ: Holocaust in your head

KK: Aural assault

SH: Agorapokalips

Moonshine

JR: Paint thinner

RJ: Blasted in the hills

KK: Trouble

SH: Georgia Moon

Obama

JR: ...bin laden

RJ: I voted for Nader

KK: Inspiring

SH: Bailout

Racism

JR: Boston

RJ: Unevolved

KK: Ignorance

SH: George Jefferson

Skunk

JR: Jamaican armpit pussy

RJ: Smelly pot

KK: Pepe le Pew

SH: Baxter

Drugs

JR: This is Brutal Truth high on...

RJ: Don't mind if I do

KK: I pass on grass

SH: Allergies

Firing Squad

JR: Bukkake

RJ: Set ‘em up and knock ‘em down

KK: Bang bang

SH: The Last Road to Hell

Boobs

JR: Small perky ones that stand up and say "hi!"

RJ: I prefer breasts

KK: Mmmm

SH: Somali pirates

Dicks

JR: Richard Johnson

RJ: Cheneys

KK: Useless appendages

SH: Jay likes these in our layouts

Masturbation

JR: I like to watch and jerk it a little

RJ: Don't mind if I do

KK: Procrastination

SH: Propagation

Salome

JR: Black and white photos of Kat's hair

RJ: Openers at the Scion Rock Fest

KK: ...is the end

SH: Treble knob with a red line through it

Drugs of Faith

JR: Dick Johnson's holy mountain

RJ: Close to my heart

KK: Opiate of the masses

SH: "Dougs" of faith

Pig Destroyer

JR: Cop killer, Ice-T

RJ: That prick Blake knocked me out of my honorary fourth member slot

KK: Prowler

SH: Another plane ride, another airport

Short shorts

JR: Showing brain

RJ: Perhaps too short

KK: Crotch shot

SH: http://fotos.blogs2k.com/files/2008/11/short-shorts.jpg

Fractal Time

JR: Premature ejaculation

RJ: Another plot is afoot, compliments of the Timelord

KK: 2012

SH: Bifurcation

Vasectomy

JR: Bob Barker

RJ: My mother tells me I should have kids because all the stupid people are having kids, and the smart people have to contribute to the gene pool. But there are too many children as it is

KK: Population control

SH: Propogation

Thanks Lists

JR: Thanks to Rich Hoak

RJ: ...are still bullshit

KK: You, fuck you, fuck you, you're cool, fuck you...

SH: A great opportunity to forget important people

This interview

JR: Rosie O'Donnell getting off

RJ: Pregnant women must die (continued from "vasectomy" and a Rocking Dildos song title)

KK: ...kills fascists

SH: A mess
Agorapocalypse is out now on Relapse Records. It really is some quite fine grind.

(Photo by Josh Sisk)