There's not enough Stallone going all STALLONE to justify its existence; it's not even worth your time as a porno.

There's not really any real reason for watching The Italian Stallion, also known as The Party at Kitty & Stud's except for the fact that it was Sylvester Stallone's first film. Oh yeah, and it's a porno.

But aside from those two fact... (read more) There's not really any real reason for watching The Italian Stallion, also known as The Party at Kitty & Stud's except for the fact that it was Sylvester Stallone's first film. Oh yeah, and it's a porno.

But aside from those two facts, the movie doesn't have a lot going in its favor. Sure, it's some sort of mid-level pornography, but it's not exactly erotic in any sense of the word. Maybe in 1970, when the movie was originally released, there was something sexy about a woman thrashing around the room for five minutes wearing some sort of see-through lingerie thing, but now it's just boring and kind of strange. Maybe in 1970, audiences liked their soft-core porn to include scenes of Sylvester Stallone playing on a jungle gym and repeatedly falling down in the snow, but it's the twenty-first century now and that kind of stuff just doesn't get the blood flowing the way that it used to.

Here's the plot, in a nutshell: Kitty and Stud (Stallone) are roommates, possibly girlfriend and boyfriend, possibly just friends with benefits. Regardless, Stud ought to marry that girl as soon as possible - she's the kind of girl that has dinner, a joint, and an unquenchable thirst for sex ready when you get home from work. Who could ask for more? Their relationship isn't spelled out, exactly, so maybe it's cool that Stud has a little fling with another chick before heading home - where he busts a lamp in a blind and unprovoked rage, allows Kitty to suck his blood, then engages in some light S&M with her. But that's just prologue. The real story is this: Party at Kitty & Stud's!!!!!

Yes, Stud invites a few friends over for a party... a party which quickly devolves into some sort of wacked out sexual free-for-all with men and women slipping off into bedrooms to do their thing while lesbians grind against one another on the couch. Sly plays with some sort of carnival mirror for a little while and then flops on top of a group of women who are pawing at each other in a vaguely sexual manner. Before the night is over, everybody is rolling around in the nude trying to simulate an orgy without actually having any sort of actual sex and the night ends with an obligatory game of ring-around-the-rosy. The subsequent game of 'Red Rover' was cut from the theatrical release, but remains on the director's cut.

But this is all meaningless. We both know that there is only one question that you want answered in this review, so why don't I just get to it already. Fine, fine, quit yer whining. The answer is yes, yes, yes, you do get to see Sylvester Stallone's man-thingy in this movie. Is it everything that it's cracked up to be? I don't know about that. I mean, that's sort of an subjective thing that I can't really answer for you. I can tell you how I reacted, which was not much at all. But don't let that dissuade you from viewing the majectic thingamajigger for yourself, please. There may be more to Sylvester Stallone's performance here than I was able to see. Maybe I just don't get it.

I do know this, though: Sly was paid a meager $200 for his role in this film (I feel that I know him well enough now that I can refer to him as Sly). The DVD case would like to use that $200 bit of trivia to show you how early in Sly's career this was. He's a star now! He gets paid millions of dollars to appear in movies these days! Unfortunately, that figure ought to also give you and idea of how much effort was actually put into this movie. It was filmed in two days (or, at least, Sly's parts were - yes, pun ABSOLUTELY INTENDED).

All of this is to say that there is pretty much only one reason to ever watch The Italian Stallion, and that is so that you can tell people that you have actually seen The Italian Stallion. If that's reason enough for you, I say go for it, man. I guarantee: you will or will not regret it!

Funny, Funny, Funny
It is erotic movie and not hard core and Stallones features are still the same: talking, (way of) walking and the famouse twitch in lips
CUTE!!!!

Nej det är inte roligt, visst det är sylvester stallone, men det är sövande.Det enda roliga är att den lanserades som "Bocky" i tyskland, det är roligt.

This is the most fun I ever had in a theatre at midnight! A whole lot better than "Cobra" I can tell you that for sure!