I really, really wish Flixster let me give zero star reviews, because, rare as they are from me, here's one that warrants it. There is not a single, solitary positive thing I can say about this movie. I've finished a lot of bad movies in my life. I'v... (read more) I really, really wish Flixster let me give zero star reviews, because, rare as they are from me, here's one that warrants it. There is not a single, solitary positive thing I can say about this movie. I've finished a lot of bad movies in my life. I've made it through Heaven's Gate, Batman and Robin, The Master of Disguise...some real dog movies. The first time I tried to watch Battlefield Earth, I got 15 minutes in, and then I, literally, said "No more!"

Well, I've forced myself through this movie, somehow, and let me say that it wasn't worth it. Everything is bad. The directing is confused and stupid, the plot makes no sense, the dialogue is awful, the special-effects are bottom of the barrel, the cinematography is atrocious, the editing is some of the worst I've ever seen (this movie uses the same wipe over and over again to change scenes, which was the thing that bugged me more than anything else), the art direction is ugly (so much that it hurts your head to look at it), and the performances are terrible. Barry Pepper, Forest Whitaker, and John Travolta are all very good actors. Pepper put out some great work in 25th Hour and Saving Private Ryan. Whitaker has done great stuff from The Crying Game to Smoke. Travolta was in Grease and Pulp Fiction. Here, they're all terrible, particularly Travolta, who's performance defies belief. There's going over the top, and then there's...this.

Travolta also executive produced this garbage. It's kind of an ad for scientology, but that doesn't matter. This movie is just as bad without any knowledge of that.

I hate clowns. They scare the hell out of me. I also dislike enclosed spaces. I would rather spend a year in the circus as a clown who had to get into one of those little cars with a bunch of clowns than see this movie a second time.

ekdom moja pai nai..1ta star disi tao john ase deikhaa

It's a one big FUCK YOU! to audiences and the film cinema. Eww! I have to take a shower now.

I'm rating this movie so low, because I can't even get through watching the whole film. Flashback: back when I was a writer with hopes and dreams I submitted to an L. Ron Hubbard anthology. Needless to say, I didn't get printed. They did send me Batt... (read more) I'm rating this movie so low, because I can't even get through watching the whole film. Flashback: back when I was a writer with hopes and dreams I submitted to an L. Ron Hubbard anthology. Needless to say, I didn't get printed. They did send me Battlefield Earth business cards and told me to distribute them at convention. Sure! I'll get right on that, you crazy cultists. One card even bore the logo, "Eat up, rat brain!" because it's such a catchy line. When you have dialogue that good, you want it in writing. One day I'm going to get that printed on a T-shirt so I can get beat up at Trekkie conventions by nerds dressed as Kligions.
If you don't know the plot to Battlefield Earth (AND YOU SHOULDN'T) basically humanity gets enslaved by aliens who are slightly taller than us and worse dressers. So right off the bat, all the good stuff happened before the movie starts. You want to know how Earth gets enslaved? The aliens drop some kinda gas in the atmosphere that makes us stupid. Aliens want free labour, but they don't want us to be competent enough to do our jobs. Also: the movie is making a clear statement that the only reason a human beings will ever find themselves as slave is because they're stupid. So all those black people stolen from Africa way back when? Apparently they were idiots. Those Jews who built the pyramids? Retards. That's some subtle racism there, L. Ron.
Okay, so the aliens have some magic stupidifier gas, or something, but then they also have a chair that makes people smart again, and they leave this lying around. So, obviously, one dude finally gets smart, and since he's now intelligent, he gets others to try the chair out and makes an army that way.
Meanwhile: John Travolta is an alien with booger chains hanging from his nose. Basically everyone involved with this movie and everyone who ever watched it is a Scientologist, because that's the only way you would likely have heard of L. Ron Hubbard and his "literary" works.
Also starring in the movie is Raven from the WCW, dressed almost identically to his in-ring persona. If you don't know Raven, he looks like a buffed out Eddie Vedder who went EMO when EMOs were still called Goths.
Okay, so the aliens created a magic stupid gas, because they're supposedly masters of human biology.Yet: they don't even know what humans eat. There's a whole long scene where John Travolta watches the starving hero-dude just to see what he'll eat. The dude catches and eats a rat, so Travolta jumps to the conclusion that all humans love rats, hence the line, "Eat up, rat brain!"
Travolta's alien character gives new definition to incompetence in a Saturday morning cartoon fashion. He's just plain bad at his job. Basically: all he has to do is keep the retard humans from taking over, and he fails at that and he has an enitre alien armada fleet at his command. Think about Darth Vader, and how he fucked up protecting a metre wide exhaust port. Seriously: that was all he had to do. He didn't have to hire any bounty hunter, he didn't have to blow up Alderan. He could have put up a grate, or something but instead the Death Star blew up. You can almost forgive him, because the Force was involved, but Travolta's character has two major flaws by comparison: he looks ridiculous, and he's not scary.
Somewhere in there, there's some flying spaceships and shit that put the movie over budget. That's not worth the price of admission, really, which is why the movie bombed.
So what does this sci-fi flop have to do with Scientology? EVERYTHING.
Scientologists believe that aliens are responsible for all negative human behaviour, and are controlling us. They use their own weird-ass helmets to purge their minds, much like the ones in the movie. So this movie is all about subtle religious cult propaganda.
As a result: WATCHING THIS MOVIE COULD KILL YOU!!!

I might enjoy Science Fiction, but this movie just doesn't impress me

Battlefield Earth is like taking a bus trip with someone who has needed a bath for a long time. It's not merely bad; it's unpleasant in a hostile way.