Before writing the substantive review of this book, I have to say that this book has changed my life. I am looking forward to learning more about Nonviolent Communication and would love to take one of the classes the author offers. I purchased both the book and the audio book and I am hoping to listen to the audio book at least every few months.

This book really made me take a long hard look at how we judge others and the effect it has on us, and them. Judgment defeats the purposes of ... (show more)

Before writing the substantive review of this book, I have to say that this book has changed my life. I am looking forward to learning more about Nonviolent Communication and would love to take one of the classes the author offers. I purchased both the book and the audio book and I am hoping to listen to the audio book at least every few months.

This book really made me take a long hard look at how we judge others and the effect it has on us, and them. Judgment defeats the purposes of our lives. Rosenberg provides tools to improve the outcomes of conversations, both in real life online, by pulling back on the judgment aspect of our values.

Rosenberg distinguishes between observation and evaluation and how an evaluation can effectively destroy one's communication with another. Focusing on simply observing instead of evaluating, Rosenbery suggests that we lessen the chance of criticizing another whom we may be attempting a connection. This distinction was possibly the most significant for me.

Rosenberg explains how to express our feelings. On the surface, this seems a minor issue. However, Nonviolent Communication calls into question how each of us confuses our feelings with our evaluations and judgments. The ability to express our feelings to those whom we are attempting to communicate is crucial to dialogue. Rosenberg brings to light the major shortcomings we have in our culture of the ability to express our feelings.

Along the same lines, taking control of our feelings is another issue preventing us from engaging in nonviolent communication. I was amazed at Rosenberg's examples of how each of us tend to deflect or blame our feelings on others. We as a culture are not used to asking for our needs to be met. Especially as women and mothers. It was refreshing to read that it is alright to expect our needs to be met and actually beneficial to us and those around us when we learn to do so in a manner that does not criticize, analyze, or blame.

After the four components of Nonviolent Communication (what we are observing, feeling, and needing and how to ask for our needs to be met), Rosenberg explains how we should open ourselves to listening empathically...to open our minds and listen with our whole beings. Often times, when judging, or simply wanting to help, we do not open our entire minds and hearts to actually hear what the person is saying. Rosenberg offers many examples of how to offer assistance to others, after learning the essentials of Nonviolent Communication and encouraging others to learn the tools to expressing their needs, in order to get their needs met and resolve conflict.

I usually don't recommend a book with the caveat that there is so much more to learn about the topic (if the book was that great, reading it is all that should be required, right). However, I will not only recommend this book to others at every opportunity but I will seek out additional resources on Nonviolent Communication. (show less)