I’ve just finished reading an advance review copy of Phillip Done’s (rhymes with “phone,” wish I’d known that four years ago) new book, Close Encounters of the Third Grade Kind: Thoughts on...

I’ve never had one of those naked-in-front-of-an-audience dreams, but I do have some of the other standards such as forgetting where class is, missing tests, and getting lost in hotels, malls, and campuses.

I mean, does it get any better than this? My ex-husband is so excited about my engagement to someone he admires that he is throwing me a get-together and inviting my parents while his parents are in town. Sha-ZAM! If that's not divorcing with Tendern...

Remember when a bunch of mom bloggers went to Cincinnati to visit with Pampers? Remember? No? The runs through O’Hare, the broken eyeglasses, the falls out of the limo? Still nothing?

Groggy in the day, awake and cranky at night. I’m a lot of fun, I tell ya. I think the best part about coming back has been the confluence of collection calls about medical bills I can’t pay, credit card that is maxed, kids’ excessive absences while...

Son: *farts* Daughter: You miss him now? The kids have been killing me since I got back yesterday. They got taller and funnier in the last two weeks, I swear. It’s like they took a speed-funny class while I was in Thailand. I can’t even remember half...

Daphne is doing a connect the dots drawing of a snowman, and I asked the boys to help. After a while, I heard, “That might actually be a jeep.” I sighed. “Daphne, just trace a flipping snowman.” “Mom, I think he’s onto something—it’s actually a...

“If they call me Mr. Roberts one more time, I’m not paying the fucking bill.” —My Guy, after ordering room service. Again .

Seriously, this “blog” thing is WORK. See, I go on vacaton and you all are still here, going WHY DID I BOOKMARK YOU, WOMAN? I don’t know, Mr, Crabs, I don’t know. Have to do some acrobatics to upload pics, since my ibook battery died. I have to...