So I woke up this morning feeling pretty good about myself until I remembered I had admitted to my sister I liked Michael Bublé. The scary part is that I was sober. Goes to show that even the secrets you think you will take with you to your grave have...

I know you're probably wondering what that picture is of or what it means. Well, that right there is my ghetto humidifier. The  ladies' skin is now so thin that they keep the thermostat at what the sun must feel like during a heat wave so it makes the...

Ahhhhhhhh! There's nothing like walking out the back door and sliding sideways until your butt is stopped by the backyard gate. Lucky for me, I have the reflexes of a geriatric  cat  high on marijuana so I managed to steady myself so that I wouldn't...

As some of you may know, I don't have children... I should clarify and say I don't have children of my own but I am familiar with the species because I see them bouncing off of walls in my house. Anyway, because I don't have little creatures, of the...

So, last week I said I was feeling better and my brain capacity was back and blah blah blah... WELL! I've had a relapse. I blame Cook County Board President Todd Stroger. What an asshole! There. I said it. I finally had enough and went to see my...